


Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fanfic Edition Episode 5: SONIC HIGH SCHOOL

by ZoisiteMoon



Series: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fanfic Edition [5]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, mst of a bad fanfic, mst of a fanfic i didn't write, mst of an infamous fanfic, sonic high school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoisiteMoon/pseuds/ZoisiteMoon
Summary: After getting through "Teen-Age Strangler," it's time for Mike and the Bots to read a fanfic not written by agentmatt. Will they survive this one?
Relationships: Amy Rose/Sonic the Hedgehog, Charmy Bee/Cream the Rabbit, Cream the Rabbit/Miles "Tails" Prower, Espio the Chameleon/Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna/Rouge the Bat
Series: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fanfic Edition [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582591
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

_In the not-too-distant future  
Way down in Deep 13  
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank  
Were hatching an evil scheme!_

_They hired a temp by the name of Mike  
Just a regular joe they didn't like  
Their experiment needed a good test case  
So they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space! (Get...me...doooown!)_

_"We'll send him cheesy fanfics!  
The worst we can find! (la la la)  
He'll have to sit and read them all  
And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)_

_Now keep in mind Mike can't control  
Where the fanfics begin or end (la la la).  
He'll try to keep his sanity  
With the help of his robot friends!_

_Robot Roll Call  
Cambot! (Cover yourself!)  
Gypsy! (I'm not ready!)  
Tom Servo! (Hello there!)  
Crooooow! (That's one "o!")_

_If you're wondering how he eats and breathes  
And other science facts (la la la),  
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show.  
I should really just relax."  
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!_

Mike Nelson couldn't help but think back to the last time he and the Bots had to read a fanfic all the way through. What a terrible fanfic "SNEAKY AGENT" had been. It was sexist through and through, and it seemed like it had gone out of its way to make every single character (Victor and Alphonse included) an idiot for the sake of the plot. Anita was especially someone to be noted in that fanfic since the author had written her to be a dumb blonde whose only function was to be a weak damsel-in-distress for Victor to save. Even then, Victor sucked at it (eventually). Just thinking about that fanfic now was getting Mike angry to the core. He hoped that whatever fanfic Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank were going to send him his way would distract him from that decomposing turd, even for just a little bit.

"So Mike..." Crow began. "Still thinking about that awful fanfic?"

Mike just sighed. "Yeah, but I don't wanna think about it. It sucks worse than horse tits."

"I know. Hey, you know what will make you feel better?"

"What?"

"This rare view-finder I managed to find while Servo and I were playing hide-and-seek."

"Oh, that's nice. I don't know if I'm in the mood right now, though."

All of a sudden, a warning siren went off above him. Uh oh, Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank were probably going to send another movie his way. In an instant, Mike and the Bots focused their attention on the TV monitor in front of them.

"Hello, Mike," Dr. Forrester greeted with a mischievous inflection. "Frank and I have a little something special for you today."

"What is it this time, Dr. Forrester?" Mike asked while kind of annoyed.

"It's another fanfic... and this time, it's from a completely different author!"

"Oh thank God! I don't know if the Bots could sit through any more agentmatt fanfics."

"Not so fast, Mike. While you won't have to suffer through another agentmatt story, you will have to sit through a story that's garnered a lot more attention than he could ever dream of."

"You're making me and the Bots sit through 'My Immortal,' aren't you?"

"No. That'd be too obvious. Besides, everyone and their mom has talked about it at this point. Hell, my mother's talked about it. What could you say about it that hasn't already been said?"

"So then... what will you be making us sit through?"

"'SONIC HIGH SCHOOL...'"

It was enough to perk Crow's head up. "'SONIC HIGH SCHOOL?'" the golden-tinted robot asked.

"That's what Dr. Forrester said," Mike answered Crow. "Honestly, though, it's just a Sonic fanfic, right? How bad could it be?"

TV's Frank just tsked at this. "I wouldn't tempt fate like that if I were you."

"What do you mean by that?" Mike asked, now confused.

"Nothing," TV's Frank was quick to reply.

"Right," Dr. Forrester just said. "Now get to work. This thing is twenty-five chapters long."

************

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where everything happens!" Crow yelled out.

_CHAPTER 1_

"The Phantom Menace," Servo said.

_Sonic woke up and looked at the clock. "7:00," it said, and Sonic screamed._

"We haven't even gone through the first paragraph yet and I'm already confused," Mike said.

"Hey, wouldn't you scream if your clock started talking to you?" Servo asked.

Mike thought about it for a second. "Eh, fair enough."

_"I am late for school! I have to get to school now!" said Sonic, jumping out of bed. Sonic put his clothes on really fast and ran out of his room because he is fast. "No time for breakfast!" said Sonic as he ran past Sonic's Mom._

"Is it just me or is this reading like a Dick and Jane book?" Crow asked.

_"You will regret this," said Sonic's Mom, leering at him from the kitchen stove, wearing aprons and oven mitts on her hands. Sonic did not care. He was late! Sonic ran outside and ran to the bus stop where people were getting on the bus._

"Sorry, is he supposed to be late or something?" Servo asked sassily.

"Hey, at least this fanfic is teaching us that people get on the bus at the bus stop," Crow deadpanned.

_"Tails! Knuckles! Wait for me!" said Sonic as he ran towards the bus._

"Wait, why does he need to take the bus?" Mike asked while confused. "Can't he just run to school? He's supposed to be the fastest thing alive, right?"

_"Hey Knuckles, its' Sonic," said Tails to Knuckles at the bus stop._

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Crow said.

_He is late!" said Knuckles to Tails before getting on the bus. Sonic ran so fast to the bus and he got on the bus after Tails._

"I still don't get why he needs to take the bus to school," Mike said.

_"Just in time," said Sonic, huffing and puffing like he was doing the Cupid Shuffle for the first time. Sonic sat down next to Tails, and Knuckles sat behind them, taking up both seats._

"Knuckles the manspreader!" Crow exclaimed.

_"I'm so bad," said Knuckles, laughing because he sat where two people could sit. Knuckles did this every day and no one bothered him, but they all knew it was against the rules of both man and God. The bus started and drove at the school and parked and they got out._

"Wait, it's against the rules of God to take up two seats?" Servo asked. "Wonder why no one wrote it down in the Bible?"

_"We're at school now," said Tails. "It is time to go to class." Sonic was also at school, so he went to his first class of the day, English class. Sonic did not like English very much, but he did not like any class very much that was not about running and going fast, which is what Sonic does best. Sonic got to his class and sat down in his seat._

"You get that, guys?" Crow asked. "Sonic loves running. You get it, right? He loves running? Okay, good."

_"It is journal day," said Sonic's English teacher, Mrs. Lesson. Mrs. Lesson was tall and white and had gray hair and she was not pretty. "Take out your journals and put them in a pile and I will read one of your entries to the class." Sonic took out his blue journal and ran to the front quickly and put his journal on her desk and ran back to his desk, all with his head down and not talking or looking at anyone. Sonic was so fast that he did it first. Everyone else did it afterwards and slower._

"I don't even know what to say to this," Mike said.

"Me neither," Servo agreed.

_Mrs. Lesson grabbed a journal from the pile and Sonic knew it was his because it looked just like Sonic's journal. Sonic knew this because he had written in it so many times it was crazy! Mrs. Lesson opened to a totally random page and it was the worst page she could pick. She began to read. "Dear Journal, I called the doctor today about a problem. I have a problem with my balls. They are itchy and it is difficult to sit still with them because they are so itchy. I have to back up against stucco surfaces and rub up and down on them to relieve the itchiness. No creams have worked. Creams only make my ball sweat smell like the breath of a thoroughbred and I think Amy (my GirlFriend) noticed. I hope my doctor calls. Love, Sonic."_

"Okay, what?" Crow asked. "What is this? Why would you compare the smell of ball sweat to a horse's breath? How do you even know they smell the same?"

"Beats me," Servo replied. "Also, gotta love how Sonic wrote down that Amy was his girlfriend in this entry just in case he kept forgetting."

"Cute."

"Yep. Moving on."

_"Oh no stop reading!" said Sonic, but he reacted too late because it was already read, all of it. Everyone in the class laughed and Sonic felt like an idiot asshole because now everyone knows all about his ball problems. Sonic felt his rage build up inside him like a pool of lava in a volcano. "Stop laughing at me! Don't tell anyone!" shouted Sonic but everyone was laughing so loud that they did not hear him and Sonic was just so embarrassed and mad and sad but more embarrassed so he ran out of the class fast. Sonic ran to his locker and opened it and screamed into it. He screamed "This sucks!" and Curse Words too._

"Ah yes, like a pool of lava in a volcano," Servo said dryly. "That's a great metaphor."

_"What is the problem," said Tails. "Are you mad?" said Tails. Sonic was mad so he nodded. "You should tell everyone that it is okay to have problems with your balls and that they probably have problems that they do not want everyone to know about too so stop laughing at me." Sonic thought Tails was right because Tails was smart. Knuckles was there too, so he said "Sonic what's is this I heard about you're having problems with your penis and balls?" Sonic was so mad again so he punched Knuckles and ran away quick._

"Whoa, that escalated quickly!" Crow exclaimed.

_Where Sonic ran to was his next class (it is now second period so it was okay), and that class was History class. Sonic did not care about History class. "Hey Amy!" said Sonic, "Check me out!" and Sonic did a dance move._

"Do the Mario!" Crow started to sing. "Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it's time to go do the Mario!"

"Shut up, Crow," Servo said.

_"Wow, cool, let's kiss," said Amy and Sonic and Amy kissed right there in the class and some of the other people in the class watched but the teacher wasn't there yet so they didn't get in trouble and who is gonna tell Sonic he can't kiss his girl friend in class. Amy kissed Sonic so hard that he was thinking "Let's have sex" but he didn't say it because the teacher would show up by the time they started to have sex in History class. Sonic kissed back really hard and it was sexy to everyone._

"Oh yeah, students love it when people have sex in the classroom," Crow remarked sassily. "It's only the most common thing to happen in class."

_The teacher arrived and they did class but Sonic just looked at Amy the whole time who was sitting next to Rouge. Amy and Rouge talked and they looked at Sonic some times and laughed and Sonic thought Amy was telling her about how awesome Sonic kissed her but it was not. Rouge was telling Amy about Sonic's gay ball problems and Amy was Sonic's GirlFriend but she thought it was just the funniest thing ever. Class ended and Sonic went to Amy quick and did not stop on the way. "Hey Amy why do you go telling Rouge about how hard we kiss :)" said Sonic with a smile on his face that meant that he did not care that Amy did this and really wanted her too because it made him look cooler._

"Uh, what's gay about having problems with your genitals exactly?" Mike asked. "Last I checked, Sonic hadn't been with any guys, so I don't know what makes it gay to have itchy balls."

"Yeah, me neither," Crow said.

"Not to mention, Sonic's so awesome that he can speak in emoticons," Servo chimed in. "Watch. I can do it, too. ~^_^~"

"Wow, I so don't care," Crow replied. "Moving on."

_"Actually Rouge was telling me about the problems with your balls and penis and butthole that every one found out about in your English class." Wow was Sonic surprised, he did not know what to say._

"Wait, I thought he already knew?" Mike asked, confused. "Didn't everyone find out in English class?"

"Apparently not," Servo replied.

"Well, if there's one thing this fanfic has over agentmatt so far..." Crow began to say. "...it's that at least it's easy to tell what's going on... kinda. Still not good, but you can still tell that this is an alternate universe where everyone goes to high school."

"Alright, one down, twenty-four to go," Mike murmured to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the delay. Not only did I wrap up finals a week ago; I've also been working on other projects in the meantime. One of these projects is "Here in the Garden," a relatively new entry in the Steven Universe Human AU series, "Eyes on Me."
> 
> It's been two months now since the world went to hell with this whole pandemic thing. I've been dealing with it just fine, for the most part, and trying my best to keep myself from getting cabin fever. Hell, I've even gone out to eat at least a couple times since my state started gradually reopening (ill-advised as it may be, but it's better than being cooped up for weeks). Of course, we're almost halfway through 2020, and people have been saying that things will get worse before they get better. It might even take at least a year before a vaccine will be ready.
> 
> So really, all I can say is this: stay safe, everybody!

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where everyone loses their virginity!" Crow yelled out.

_CHAPTER 2_

"Electric Boogaloo," Servo said.

_The rest of the day for Sonic was awful! So bad it was that Sonic went home and went right to the bathroom and took a big poop. It was a mad poop because it went out fast. It shooted out of his butthole so fast that it was like a gun shooting. His poop stunk so much that even the neighbors could smell it and they all had a meeting at night about what to do about it and they decided that they would just put fans on outside and if it really started to smell again they would do something else._

"Okay... what was that about?" Mike asked. "Did we really need a paragraph where the neighbors complained about how bad Sonic's poop smells?"

"Eh, probably not," Crow replied. "It's not like it adds anything to the story."

_So Sonic pooped and went up to his room and shouted into his pillow "I hate everything!". Sonic shouted loud and he heard a knock at his door._

"Me too, Sonic," Mike said. "Me too."

_"What is wrong Sonic," asked Sonic's Mom._

"I'm stuck in this crappy fanfic!" Crow yelled while imitating Sonic.

_"Nothing said Sonic," said Sonic._

"What?" Mike asked, confused. "Nothing said what?"

"Beats me," Servo replied.

_"Okay just keep it down because I am trying to watch the t-v." said Sonic's Mom to Sonic and left without saying anything else. Sonic was in his room still so he looked out to the window and saw Tails flying there with this flying tails._

"Aw man, I wonder if he brought the pot this time," Crow said while imitating Sonic.

_"Sonic are you ok," asked Tails. "I was worried about you, Sonic." Sonic was less mad because Tails was always nice and smart and didn't care that Sonic left his Porns around his room so he could think about kissing and doing sex on Amy when he wasn't with Amy. "Please be happy," said Tails. "Are you there?"_

"Nah, I'm a ghost," Crow said while imitating Sonic.

_Sonic went to the window and opened the window. Sonic grabbed Tails and put him on the bed because Sonic is strong too. "This day was the worst," said Sonic. "Everyone thinks I am a gay loser all because I gave them my journal." Sonic cried a little and Tails put his hand under his face to catch his tears. Tears can stain a carpet._

"'Tears can stain a carpet,'" Mike repeated. "Now I know."

Crow nodded. "And knowing is half the battle."

"G.I. Joe..." Servo sang.

_Tails hugged Sonic and said, "I am always here for u. The prom is tonight also."_

"What?" Servo asked, confused by this revelation. "Prom? What prom? Where did this plot point come from?"

Crow just shrugged. "Beats me. It's the first I've heard of it."

_"Wow I forgot" said Sonic. Sonic ran to his closet fast and pulled out his prom uniform (its a tuxedo) and put it on faster. "Is our limo here yet Tails?" said Sonic while looking at Tails._

"I can't wait to have romantic nights with you in it," Servo said while imitating Sonic.

"Dammit, Servo!" Crow yelled. "Did you seriously have to call back to 'Anita's Birthday Gift?'"

_"Yes," said Tails right back._

"That was intense," Mike just said.

_"Let's go," and Sonic went outside with Tails who was also in prom clothing and they went outside and got in the limo._

"Oh boy!" Servo yelled. "We really are getting sexy times here!"

"Dammit, Servo!" Crow yelled back.

_"The limo is broken," said the limo driver who looked like a person but darker colored. Sonic and Tails got out of the limo and asked the limo driver if they could fix it. "Nope the limo is broken eternally," said the limo Driver. So Sonic grabbed Tails's hand and said "Let's go," and ran all the way to the prom which was on an island called "Ghost Island."_

"'A person but darker colored...'" Mike repeated uncomfortably. "Oh boy. Let's move on."

"Good idea," Crow agreed. "I wonder what Ghost Island is like."

_"This place is scary," said Tails. Ghost Island was really scary. It was shaped like a skull, and everything looked like it was dead. Sonic looked at Tails._

"You wanna make out?" Servo asked while imitating Sonic.

_"Yeah it is." Said Sonic._

"Damn," Servo muttered under his breath.

_"Why would the put the prom on this island," said Tails. "I don't see anyone else from the school here." Tails and Sonic were both worried about it all. Sonic and Tails walked forward and there was a Haunted House. Sonic and Tails went into the Haunted House and it was spooky. Sonic saw a ghost and Tails saw a mummy. There was a man laughing._

"Oh no, it's Alphonse!" Crow exclaimed. "He's crossed over from the agentmatt tetralogy to cause trouble!"

"Nah," Servo contradicted. "It's someone far worse than that."

"Hitler?"

"What? No, worse than that."

"President Trump?"

"No, worse."

"COVID-19?"

"Close, but no cigar. Just keep reading."

"Oh, wait, I think I know who it is." Mike proceeded to open a Mountain Dew bottle and take a drink. "It's gotta be Eggman..."

_"Ha ha ha, Sonic and Tails, now you are both here and fallen right into my trap," said the man laughing. The man looked like a fat immature gay. It was Eggman._

Mike did a spit take after reading "a fat immature gay."

"'A fat immature gay?'" Crow asked, dumbfounded. "What does that look like?"

"Beats me," Servo replied. "But it sure caught my attention, didn't it you?"

"Yep."

"Yep."

_"Eggman why you're here," asked Sonic and shouted at Eggman. "Are you here for the Chaos Emeralds!" Sonic shook his fists at Eggman and Tails ran at him but what an idiot he was because a cage fell down from the top of the sky and trapped Tails. "You are doomed now," said Egg man. "Welcome to a graveyard of you."_

Crow and Servo both laughed their robot asses off when they came across that line. 

"Nice comeback, sir," Crow said while he was still laughing.

_Sonic was shocked but did not run forward because he did not want to get caught too but what if Eggman did not have another cage? Sonic did not know so he went to the side into a different room. This room was smaller and had carpets and wallpaper. It was still scary though._

"Uh, what's scary about this room?" Mike asked, confused.

_Sonic said "I need to find a way out and to save Tails," and he walked into a door that was on the next wall. "Next thing," said Sonic, and he came out of the room into the same room he was in. "This is a Haunted House so you always come back to the same place," said Sonic thinking of famous saying he saw once on the wall of a Walgreens where it was written._

"The most inspirational quotes always come from Walgreens," Servo said.

_Eggman laughed and pointed at Sonic, "I kissed Amy and now you can never date her again because I am going to do sex to her tonight."_

"Wow, bestiality?" Crow asked, seemingly excited by what he just read. "This fanfic's got everything!"

_"No, this cannot be real," said Sonic. Sonic knew that he had to do something but what._

"Wait, where's the rest of the chapter?" Crow asked again.

"I don't know, Crow," Servo replied. "I guess it wanted to end on a cliffhanger."

"Alright, guys," Mike cut in. "Two chapters down, twenty-three more to go."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: this chapter mentions rape. Please read with caution.

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where everyone gets pregnant!" Crow yelled.

_CHAPTER 3_

"Revenge of the Sith," Servo said.

_Sonic ran the fastest right to Dr. EggMan right through his traps and jumped at the floating platform that Eggman was standing on._

"Yawn," Crow said.

_"I'm coming for you!" said Sonic and he jumped up up right to the platform and got so close but fell because it was just too high to reach even for Sonic. Sonic said "Damn" and ran up the staircase that was in the middle of the big room that were under Eggman. Sonic ran to the top and at the top he jumped again from a higher spot and this time reached the platform because it was easier to get to it. "Now you are mine!" shouted Sonic right to Eggman in his ear._

"Oww!" Crow yelled while imitating Eggman. "That really hurts, you asshole."

_"I am not going to fall this easily," said Eggman who then grabbed a crystal remote control out of his pocket and pressed a button on it that made a dome of lasers around Eggman. "Get out of here!" yelled Eggman. "I am Eggman and I will have my way with the treasures of this island!" said Eggman. Eggman flew up higher on his platform and Sonic had already fell from the lasers that were on the floating platform so Sonic didn't get to go too. Eggman disappeared into a purple and black portal at the top of the sealing and Sonic was left at the bottom of the room on the middle of the stairs._

"Damn," Mike muttered. "He got away."

"Yeah," Crow rejoined. "But what about the prom?!"

_"Amy still has to be here somewhere and I need to get Tails out of that locked cage," said Sonic thinking about what he should do next. Sonic ran up the stairs really fast and down the hallway at the top of the stairs on the second floor. Sonic picked a door and ran into the door. The room Sonic ran into had a big picture of an old man on it and he looked just so old that it was like seeing a skeleton right there. Sonic said "This man probably died ages ago and left all his money from being in Reala State to his sons who build this place." Sonic thought this was not the right room to be in so he left it and went into the next room._

"That was a great scene," Mike said flatly.

_This was the right room to be in Sonic knew immediately. There was a big red bed and Amy was tied with rope around her feet and hands and there was another rope around her head with a lock in her mouth so she couldn't open it or say anything at all. Sonic ran right to the bed without doing anything before doing that and untied Amy with his Sonic Speed._

"Oh, now he uses his Sonic Speed!" Crow exclaimed. "It's a miracle! I never thought I would care about this!"

_"I am so glad you are here," said Amy. "This prom is not turning out like I hoped it would when I bought this dress." Amy was wearing a pretty red dress that was like what she normally wears but longer and there were two flowers on the two shoulders. Amy's dress also made her boobs look bigger Sonic noticed. Sonic thought for just a moment that this was the perfect moment to get her to give sex to him but he did not do it beause Tails still needed help._

"You heard it here, folks!" Servo exclaimed. "Sonic only decided not to rape Amy right then and there because his friend needed help!"

"What a great guy," Crow said sarcastically.

_"Where is the key to open Tails's cage," said Sonic to Amy. "We need to open Tail's cage. He can't get out the cage."_

"Wait, can't Tails just fly out of the cage?" Mike asked, confused.

Crow just shrugged.

_"I saw Eggman putting a key in a safe behind the picture in the room you were just in," said Amy. "So let's go get it!" Amy and Sonic ran to the next room and Sonic got there first, he is the faster one in the relationship. Sonic punched his big strong hand right through the painting like a body builder and found the safe behind the painting._

"What kind of bodybuilder do you have to be to punch through a painting?" Crow asked curiously.

"A special kind, apparently," Servo replied.

_"This safe needs a password," said Sonic. "What could it be?" Sonic thought long and hard about everything he knew about Eggman. Sonic knew Eggman was a gay asshole who always ruined Sonic's plans to be the hero and now he ruined Sonic's prom. Sonic tapped on his brain and thought harder._

"Casual homophobia!" Crow exclaimed. "Because that's funny, right?"

_"Maybe the password is his name" said Amy. It was not and Sonic knew it before Sonic put it in to the safe lock. "I love her for her body" thought Sonic. Sonic thought harder and had an idea._

"Kinda shallow, isn't he?" Mike asked in regards to Sonic.

_"What if the password is "SAOHC SDLAREME."" Finally shouted Sonic at Amy next to him._

"Then that would be a stupid password, Sonic," Crow said.

_Amy who was there said "What does that mean?" Amy, Sonic's Girlfriend was confused._

"What do you think it means, Amy?" Mike asked, kinda annoyed.

_"It is Chaos Emeralds backwards, what he really wants but messed up so we would not guess it," screamed Sonic so happy. Sonic typed the password into the safe and would you know it, it popped open and there was this big key, so Sonic took it. Sonic ran down the stairs and then Amy did and Sonic opened Tails cage and Tails got out._

"Wow..." Servo began. "That... that was all one sentence."

"Oh God, my eyes!" Crow screamed to the high heavens.

_"I am so glad to be safe one again. Thanks to you Sonic, the day is saved." Tails was smiling bigger than a crocodile having a silly dream but Sonic was not. "What is wrong, Sonic, everything is right now," said Sonic._

"Can someone tell me what Sonic is trying to say right now?" Mike asked, confused by what he just read.

"Nope," Crow replied.

"Sorry, can't help you," Servo rejoined.

Mike sighed. "Okay, it was worth a shot."

_"No it isn't," said Sonic so mad and sad, "Eggman got away without a real punishment for what he did." Sonic shook his face at the sky thinking about how Eggman slipped away like a slippery balloon that Sonic let go of._

"These similes the author uses are so strange..." Mike couldn't help but mutter.

_"But we are all safe," Amy said, "That is what really matters."_

"Yes, this filler chapter is what really matters, Sonic," Servo said while imitating Amy.

_Sonic figured right then that Amy's super power must be being nice because like he knew before it wasn't being smart which Tails was best and Sonic is also good at it too. Sonic did not even think about how his day at school was bad anymore because his balls did not really even itch anymore. Sonic laughed Tails laughed Amy laughed and they went home ready for the next day of high school._

"And that was the end of the chapter, guys," Servo announced. "We're just gonna go on with our week like nothing significant happened. I mean, it's not like a couple people were kidnapped or anything."

"Well, then," Mike began. "Three chapters down, twenty-two more to go..."


	4. Chapter 4

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where everyone is totes attractive!" Crow yelled.

_CHAPTER 4_

"A New Hope," Servo said.

_Sonic did like in the first chapter and went to school again._

"Oh my God, it's self-aware!" Crow shrieked.

_Now it's lunch time and Sonic was in the lunch room. Sonic was telling all of the people at his table who were Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, Espio, and Charmy Bee about what did happen yesterday but Tails already knew so he was nodding his head like a good friend._

"Yeah, like a good friend," Servo said while nodding his head.

_"You should have seen it," said Sonic. "I was in the Haunted House and I shot Eggman but I let him get away right before I could have killed him." Sonic laughed and Tails laughed at the same time._

"I let the bad guy get away because he was too gay for me to kill him," Servo said while imitating Sonic. "I'm so incorrigible."

_Knuckles said "You should stop going on these cool adventures because high school is more important," said Knuckles and Sonic knew he was right because its called Sonic high school and it should be more about the high school part. So Sonic asked them all what their up to._

"You're not automatically a good fanfic just because you're breaking the fourth wall, you know," Mike pointed out. "You still have questionable writing."

"Hey, cut the author some slack," Crow chimed in. "He was just a kid when he wrote it. Don't most kids write like this anyway?"

"Eh, I guess you're right. Let's just move on."

"Besides, this is still miles better than agentmatt's terrible fanfic tetralogy."

_"Well I am entering the Science Competition, " said Tails. "To win the Science Competition I have to come up with the best invention and my invention is this Invisibility Hat. It makes you invisible but I can't do it right now because I have to make sure it works perfect for the Science Competition." Tails was so smart that Sonic knew he would win the Science Competition because Tails is like Inestine._

"Who's Inestine?" Crow asked, confused.

"I think the author meant to spell Einstein, but couldn't," Mike replied. "I mean, he is a kid, so..."

_"Nerd!" shout Knuckles right into Tails ear, what a bad guy. "I am just hanging out and not going to class because I want to cause trouble," said Knuckles. Knuckles was so bad that he would cause trouble. Sonic thought Knuckles was a fuck._

"Sonic thought Knuckles was sex?" Mike asked, now confused himself. "What?"

_Shadow was next and he was badder than Knuckles but in a different way. "I'm not going to be around much longer…" said Knuckles. He always did … at the end of what he was saying because it was mysterious._

"Ooh, so mysterious..." Crow muttered. "Shadow the edgelord is so badass."

_"Where are you going." said Tails. Because he was curious._

"Yeah, where is this fanfic going?" Mike asked curiously.

_"I am going to kill my parents," said Shadow. See this is how Shadow is worse than Knuckles, he did serious bad things. At least at the end of the day Knuckles could sleep. Shadow was too dark for that._

"I'm so edgy I don't need to sleep," Servo said while imitating Shadow. "Also, I'm going to kill my parents because that's what edgelords do."

_"I am going to go try out for the FootBall team," said Espio. Espio was athletic like Sonic but not as fast but he had a horn on his nose that was good for attacking people in front of him so Sonic thought he would be good at football._

"He has a horn on his face," Crow chimed in. "Clearly, that means he'll be good at football."

"Also, chameleons can play football, apparently," Mike pointlessly added as well. "News to me."

_"I am going to go try out for the play," said Charmy Bee. Charmy Bee was loud and singing always._

"Broadway's smash hit 'Hamilton,' starring Charmy the Bee," Servo spoke up.

_"You're an annoying fag so you should do great," said Knuckles._

"Casual homophobia!" Crow yelled out for seemingly no reason.

_"Do not hurt my feelings!" said Charmy. Charmy was use to being hectored so he was able to remove himself from his potent fury._

"What does it mean to be hectored?" Mike asked, intrigued by this new verb before him.

"Is it anything like being heckled?" Crow guessed.

"Probably. Let's continue."

"Right on."

_"Did you see Rouge just now?" said Espio. "She is looking so hot in her tiny bra!" Espio obviously wanted to kiss her deep._

"Wait, doesn't Rouge have huge boobs or something?" Mike asked, confused.

"Who cares?" Crow asked back. "Clearly, the fact that she even has boobs is enough to make Espio horny." He then proceeded to laugh at his own stupid pun.

_"You should ask her out," said Sonic._

"I'm Sonic and I'm here to say that you should bone the sexy bat-lady," Servo said while imitating Sonic.

_"But the Prom was yesterday." Said Espio._

"So?" Crow asked.

_"Well that is okay, you can date anytime," said Sonic._

"Well, duh," Mike just said.

_"Oh," said Espio. "Well then I am gonna kiss and sex her tonight!" Espio was like a little boy looking at his mom's boob for the first time. Sonic and Tails together were both looking at each other and they wanted to help Espio._

"How about a foursome?" Crow asked while imitating Tails.

"Crow, don't be so crass," Mike scolded.

_"We are gonna help you get a date," said Sonic and Tails at the same time simultaneously. "And we are gonna do it right now!" Said Sonic and Tails. Sonic and Tails got up and both grabbed one of Espio's arms and dragged him across the room (Sonic did most the dragging because he is stronger) and put him right at Rouge._

"Oh man, I can't wait to see how this turns out," Crow said excitedly.

_"What is this about?" said Rouge with a questioning sound. She blinked her eyelids quickly like a race car. "What do you want? Why are you here?"_

Crow snickered a bit. "Like a race car... good simile, author."

"How much horsepower do those eyelids need to blink like that?" Servo asked curiously.

"Beats me. Can we continue on with the fanfic?"

"Oh, right."

_Espio looked right into her eyes with a passion like a hundred barking dogs and said "Rouge will you go out with me." Espio was sweating and there were drops of sweat dropping of his hands in front of her._

Crow just started jumping up and down in his seat, grunting excitedly as he waited in bated breath for Rouge's response.

_"I don't know…" said Rouge and looked at Espio. Rouge gave him a sexy look that made Espio feel in love._

"Hot damn, the suspense is killing me and Crow both!" Servo exclaimed.

_"Please do it," said Sonic and Tails together at the same time._

"Whoa, take it easy, guys," Mike said.

_"Okay, we can go on a date tonight," said Rouge. Sonic and Tails and Espio were stoked and high-fived right there. By the time this night ended, one of them would have done their first sex._

"Oh man, I see we're getting those sexy times," Servo said.

"Damnit, Servo!" Crow yelled. "Stop reminding me of 'Anita's Birthday Gift!'"

_"Now here's the hard part," said Espio. "How do I put sex in her without getting in trouble?" Sonic and Tails looked at each other and thought "Uh Oh" and Espio walked out while holding on to Rouge's boobies because they are now BoyFriend and GirlFriend and its allowed to do it._

"Uh..." Crow started. "How exactly is Espio walking while holding onto his date's boobs? Must not be very comfortable."

"Probably not," Servo agreed. "Anyway, this chapter is over now. Man, what a chapter, huh?"

Mike nodded his head yes. "That's four chapters down, twenty-one to go. This is going to be a long riffing session."


	5. Chapter 5

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where all the kids go to get the best drugs!" Crow yelled out.

_CHAPTER 5_

"The Empire Strikes Back," Servo said.

_It was the end of the day at school and it was time that Sonic and Tails and Knuckles got back on the bus at the bus stop to board it all the way home from school._

"That was quite a sentence there," Mike said. "Might need some breaking up."

_"We are on the bus now," said Tails. "No more classes!" Tails was happy but sad because he is smart._

"Well, is he happy or sad?" Servo asked. "Which is it?" 

_Sonic and Tails sat down together and Knuckles sat right in the middle of the aisle which he usually did not do but sometimes did when not everyone was on the bus. It looked like Espio and Rouge were not on the bus because they were to busy getting ready to go sex tonight now that they are BoyFriend and GirlFriend. Knuckles laid across the aisle even more stretched out than when he just sat across two seats because now the limits were the alpha and the omega._

"What does that even mean?" Mike asked, confused. "'The limits were the alpha and the omega?' What?"

_"How can we help Espio," said Sonic to Tails._

"Didn't you already help him back in the last chapter?" Crow asked. "Or does that whole 'setting Espio up with Rouge' thing not count?"

_Tails responded "I don't know" and thought about it on the bus._

"I guess he's thinking about getting a date of his own," Servo said. "Sexy times, full steam ahead!"

"Shut up, Servo!" Crow yelled.

_The bus drove bumpy on the bumpful roads all the way home and then they all got out at the bus stop that they normally got in the bus at just like always. Sonic ran out of the bus and then Tails and then Knuckles in order. "Time to go home," said Tails. "We are almost there." And they walked the rest of the way to home. When they got home it was dinner time and Sonic was at a different home from Tails and Knuckles because they were all in different families so they did not live together, and Sonic's Mom made a dinner. Sonic's Mom made Chinese Food and Sonic ate it and at the end there was a Fortune Cookie and Sonic broke it open and ate the cookie part and kept the paper that was inside that held a magical fortune on it. Sonic looked at the fortune and read it to himself inside of his head._

"Does it have anything to do with sex, I wonder?" Servo asked curiously. "Guess we'll have to see..."

_"The path to glory begins at the base of your friend's penis," said Sonic inside of his head reading the Fortune Cookie paper and he knew it was a good sign for what was about to happen tonight when Espio and Rouge went to sex._

"Wow!" Crow exclaimed. "What are the odds?"

_Then the phone ringed. Sonic ran to the phone and picked it up and said "Hello." Into it._

"Where is this going?" Mike asked.

"Beats me," Servo replied. "But I can't wait to see it."

_It was Tails. "I have an idea!" said Tails on the phone to Sonic who was listening but not speaking. "I can give Espio my Invisibility Hat that for the Science Competition and he can use it to do sex for Rouge!" Sonic smiled so wide like The King Of Fire finding out he burned down New York City with only his fire powers._

Servo was in shock. He had no idea how to respond to Tails' suggestion.

"Uh, can we just skip this part?" Crow asked, clearly uncomfortable with what he'd just read.

"Uh, yeah, go for it," Mike replied. "Let's just move on to the next paragraph."

_Sonic and Tails went to Espio's house later which was not too easy to walk to normally for most people but Sonic is super fast so he ran there and helped Tails get there too, seeing as Tails is not as fast as Sonic. They knocked on the house and Espio came out of the door._

"With his wang fully erect!" Crow exclaimed.

Mike audibly groaned. "C'mon, Crow, really with that?"

"What? I saw an opportunity and ran with it!"

"C'mon, Crow, you're better than this..."

_"Here is my Invisibility Hat that you can use with Rouge tonight to make sex in. It makes it impossible to see and impossible to hear you when you are wearing the hat or when someone who is wearing the hat wants you to also be impossible to see and impossible to hear," screamed Tails whose voice was a little hoarse from ordering food with the lunch lady whose hearing was lost in an earthquake in her childhood. Tails had to say the things he wanted so loud and she would still say "What" and Tails wondered why she even had ears if she wasn't gonna use them._

"So Tails wants Espio to use the invisibility hat for... rape?" Crow asked, once again uncomfortable with what he just read. "I know the author was just a kid when he wrote this, but didn't he even read this and think this seemed wrong?"

Mike shrugged. "I guess when you're posting chapters over a whole summer, there's no time to read things over, huh?"

_Espio grabbed the Invisibility Hat from Tails's hands and said "Cool! Thanks!" and kept going so Sonic and Tails left and wished him luck from far away at their own homes._

"Good luck being invisible for your first time!" both Crow and Servo yelled while imitating Sonic and Tails.

_Back at home Sonic thought that it would be good that Espio would get sex into Rouge so then he could explain it to Sonic and Sonic would know how to find Amy's sex spots even better because otherwise he would have to read about it online because all he knew about was kissing which wasn't really sex but it was probably kind of the same thing and Sonic would just read about it online before talking about it anyway and he would know the right words for the things then._

"Oh God, my eyes!" Crow yelled after reading that monster of a sentence.

_Sonic sat on his chair that was in front of his Sonic Computer and opened up Sonic Instant Messager and messaged Amy who was doing the same thing but at her home and said "Hey Amy, want to finally become True BoyFriend and GirlFriend by reaching sex this weekend."_

"I'm bringing my own invisibility hat," Servo said while imitating Sonic.

_Sonic waited for a long time at his computer and it seemed like Amy was not there because she did not respond to anything. Sonic played games online and beat all the final bosses because he was like an alien sent to Earth to destroy records set by others. Then finally Amy responded._

"What did she say?" Crow asked excitedly. "What did she say?!"

_What Amy said was "NO WAY!" Sonic was so shocked, his brain must have felt like a total idiot…_

"Wow, what a chapter that was, huh?" Crow asked Mike. "Apparently, the best way to use invisibility cloaks is for sex and not for stealth. I still can't believe I read this with my own eyes!"

"Me neither, Crow," Mike agreed. "That's five chapters down, twenty more to go."


	6. Chapter 6

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where anything can happen!" Crow yelled out.

_CHAPTER 6_

"Return of the Jedi," Servo said.

_Espio walked to Rouge's house because it was time for their date together, and all Espio could think about was that they were about to make sex for the first time. Espio looked at the computer and read about what to do and what the right words were so he would know how it works and how to say it right so no one would make fun of him. It was Rouge's house he was at now, and it was in front of him._

"You mean his iPhone?" Mike asked.

"I mean, an iPhone _is_ a computer, Mike," Servo replied.

"Well, yeah, but why not just say 'iPhone?'"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Okay."

_Espio knocked Rouge's house door. "I hope she is home!" said Espio and she was, she opened the door just then._

"How convenient!" Crow exclaimed. "Now the underage sex can begin!"

_"Hello, I'm home," said Rouge, looking always sexy in her tiny baby bra and big cool boobs. Espio thought she looked like the hottest woman in the world that he could see from here. "Where are you taking me on our date tonight?" whispered Rouge in a sex-filled voice._

"To jail," Servo said while imitating Espio. "Because this is statutory rape."

_Espio had thought this one over on the way over so that he could say it right the first time and get her to do what he wanted: that's sex. "Well," said Espio, "Just let me put on this science hat and we will begin sex."_

"Ooh, foreplay," Crow said while imitating Rouge.

_Rouge looked shocked but she probably was excited too, Espio could tell they both had a nerection. "What?" said Rouge in a shocked way, "Right here?"_

"What's a nerection?" Mike asked, confused.

"You know, like an erection," Crow replied. "Only lamer."

_Espio said "Yes, this hat was made by Tails pacifically for our date! It makes it impossible to see and impossible to hear while I am wearing it." Espio did a cool face at her because being smart can be cool too as long as you're not a nerd ass._

"Well, that's just rude, fanfic," Servo said. "Just get on with the teenage sex already!"

"Seriously?" Crow asked. "You wanna read that?"

"At least let us get through this so we can end the chapter sooner, Crow."

"Damn it."

_Rouge said "Okay, let's go inside," and gently grabbed Espio's hand, but he pulled it back and she fell causing him to fell and they both together fell on to the grass where they rolled around in it until they were about in the middle of Rouge's house's front lawn so there was plenty of room around them for activities._

"Wow, it's a good thing he had the Invisibility Hat with him," Mike said. "Otherwise, I would think this was totally inappropriate."

_"No," said Espio, "I want to make sex in you right here!" and Espio put on the Invisibility Hat so nobody could see or hear them and a whole new world of possibilities were optioned to them so they could do sex in what ever way they wanted and it was time to start sex right now._

"Oh boy!" Crow yelled out. "I can't wait to get uncomfortable about this."

_Espio revealed his penis to Rouge, who looked at it. Rouge said "Cool" and took out her vagina. Espio's penis was really big from looking at Rouge like when he is in church and its so boring but you just get a boner anyway. Rouge's vagina looked like a surprised ghost. Espio's penis approached Rouge like a plane flying down at the airport but instead of being full of business men it was full of Espio's Creamy Italian salad dressing._

"Wow, where do we even begin with this?" Servo asked while laughing in bewilderment. "How can she see his penis if they're supposed to be invisible? How can he see her vagina when they're supposed to be invisible? Why does he get boners at church? Why compare Rouge's bat vagina to a ghost? Why compare Espio's, um, discharge to Italian salad dressing? What does Italian salad dressing look like anyway?"

"It's orange, right?" Mike replied with another question. "Orange with black specks?"

"Wait, if that's what Espio's discharge looks like, he should probably see a doctor about that."

"Yeah."

"Wow, this is a lot to take in."

"It sure is."

_"Here it comes!" cried Espio, ramming his mauve avenger into Rouge's vagina spot. Rouge screamed sex noises and Espio messed around with her boobs and face like she was the X-Men arcade game. Espio slapped his big awesome penis from side to side in her vagina like a hotdog windshield wiper and Rouge was ripping grass from the lawn._

"Uh... no comment," Crow just said.

_Then Espio used his tail to flip her over (he can do this) and put his penis into her butt. He moved his penis in circles in her butthole like he was building a golf course and digging out the back 9. Rouge was flapping her bat wings like an idiot and not flying because Espio's was holding on to her asscheeks and pressing into them with his fingers and leaving marks that looked like it said "wow" when combined with the spot where her butthole is, and that is what she felt because Espio seemed to be a sex professional._

"This is exactly how I imagined a child would write a sex scene," Servo said.

"Why would anybody imagine children writing sex scenes like this?" Crow asked in disgust.

"I don't know, but it happens. Let's just get this over with."

"I'm right there with you."

_Espio used his tail again to flip her over and did all-star sex things like using his penis like a rolling pin on her face and plugging his penis into her bellybutton to see how far it would go and making a balls hurricane with swirling his balls and her balls. Finally they both got so sexy that Espio's penis ejaculated, and semen came out of it and landed on Rouge who was lying there on the lawn but nobody could see them so it was ok. At that part Espio screamed "It's semen time!" and Rouge shouted "Create a generation in me!". Espio ejaculated semen in to her vagina and that was what happened._

"That part where Espio sticks his thing into Rouge's navel is giving me 'The Room' flashbacks," Mike just said.

_Now that they were done doing sex, they put their penis and vagina and balls away and Espio took off the Invisibility Hat and it was like nothing ever happened but they both know it did because they were there for it._

"Aw man, so glad that's over," Crow said. "I don't know how much more of the sex descriptions I could take."

"Me neither, Crow," Servo agreed.

_"Bye bye," said Espio and Espio walked off her property and away to his house and did the rest of his things until school happened the next day._

"And that's that chapter over!" Mike announced.

"Alright!" Crow yelled in cheer. "So how many are left, Mike?"

"That's six down, nineteen more to go."

"This is going to be a long fanfic."


	7. Chapter 7

_SONIC HIGH SCHOOL_

"Where teenagers roam free!" Crow yelled.

_CHAPTER 7_

"The Force Awakens," Servo said.

_"We had front sex." whispered Espio at the people at his lunch table. Espio was at school in the lunchroom and also was Tails and Knuckles and Charmy Bee and Vector, too. "I ejaculated from my penis and into her body, bet you haven't done that." They had not done that._

"Thanks for the clarification, fanfic," Mike said sarcastically. "That was totally necessary."

_"Wow, cool! You are the coolest after Sonic!" said Tails who was right there so he didn't have to shout. It was good not to shout because this was supposed to be a secret. Tails did not hear the whole school talking about Espio's penis and balls like with Sonic in chapter 1 but in a different way (sex)._

"Can this fanfic please stop trying to break the fourth wall already?" Crow asked. "It's not automatically funny."

_"Yeah, speaking of Sonic, where is that gay-bag?" said Vector, who was the captain of the school's FootBall team. Vector was good at this because he was big and strong and had sharp teeth under his mouth. "Just kidding," said Vectors. "Sonic is cool!"_

"Casual homophobia!" Servo exclaimed. "Because that never gets old."

_"I don't know!" said Tails to Vector._

_Where Sonic was was somewhere else, trying to find Amy who was not at lunch._

"Uh, where is this fanfic going?" Mike asked. "Are we about to read some underage porn?"

"I sure hope not!" Crow replied nervously.

_Sonic was knocking on Amy's door at her house. "Are you home," said Sonic. "Are you home." It was like Amy was not home because she was not opening the door. Sonic was worried about Amy because she was his only GirlFriend even if she denied his sex offer, so he ran into the door and barged it down like it was made of nothing. Sonic was now in Amy's house. Amy's house was really pink because that was Amy's color. Sonic looked around Amy's house for Amy but Sonic could not find anyone. Sonic finally went to Amy's bedroom and opened the door up._

"Oh my God, she must be cheating on me," Servo said while imitating Sonic.

_What Sonic saw next was what he did not expect. Amy was there tied up on her bed with a thing in her mouth so she couldn't talk. Sonic did a scream and ran over to Amy who was looking at his with tears in her eyes. She looked sad and starved like African kids. Sonic united Amy and she sat up and cried into Sonic's arms._

"Starved... like African kids..." Crow muttered. "Yeah, I'm not gonna touch that one."

_"It was awful!" said Amy. "He came into my room in the evening and tied me up on this bed and messed up the things in my room!" Amy was right, her room looked messy._

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Mike said sarcastically. "That was totally necessary."

_"So get a maid," said Sonic, always thinking about a solution to problems._

"Dude, priorities," Servo said.

_"Who tied you up, who was it? Be calm Amy, calm down and talk to me." Sonic patted Amy on the back to help her._

"What does he think he's trying to do?" Servo asked, confused.

Servo just shrugged. "Beats me."

_"It was Shadow! I saw him outside his house next door with a machine gun and a sword going in his house to kill his mom, and he saw me! He knew I saw him so he tied me up like a brigand!" Amy said all of this. Sonic was shocked that Amy said this to him. He remembered now in that other part when Shadow said he was going to kill his mom but no one thought about it more than once because Shadow was always a bad guy. What they didn't realized was that Shadow was serious._

"Hang on, isn't this 'SNEAKY AGENT' all over again?" Crow asked.

"Oh no, it gets worse..." Mike muttered to himself.

_"Okay, was it him who also said that you would not have sex with me on Sonic Messenger?" said Sonic to Amy._

"Time and place, asshole!" Servo yelled at Sonic.

_"Yes! I did not talk to you then." spoke Amy back to Sonic._

_"So how do you really feel about it?" asked Sonic whose brain was now humming with sex ideas._

"Sonic, can you please refrain from thinking about losing your virginity for one second?" Mike asked desperately. "I'm getting sick of your entitled ass!"

_"Shit I don't know," said Amy still all worked up. "Give me a day. Right now let's get things right." So Sonic and Amy went back to school where everyone else was besides them. Sonic and Amy saw Espio walking around between a lot of other people._

"Oh yeah, let's just forget that that even happened," Servo said. "It's not like it'll be important later."

_"Hey, here you are," said Espio to Sonic and Amy. "I had sex with Rouge last night! Do not tell everyone." said Espio._

"Don't tell everyone while I've already done so," Crow said while imitating Espio.

_"Oh, that's right you did, I almost forgot," said Sonic. "Hear that, Amy?" and Amy was like yup. "You gotta tell me all about it later so I know what to do to Amy." said Sonic and then turned around._

"Sonic, can you please shut the hell up?" Mike asked desperately. "I don't want to hear about your mission to get laid."

_Sonic heard a sound coming from down the hallway where someone was coming. It was a really fat guy that looked so huge to him. The fat guy got closer and closer until they could see who it was, and it was Rouge!_

"Oh my God!" Crow exclaimed dramatically. "What happened?"

_"Wow, you are so fat now," said Espio, "What's that about?"_

"I don't know, Espio," Servo said. "What do you think it's about?"

_Rouge looked mad and surprised at Espio. "Well you got me pregnant!" said Rouge._

"Wait, she's already full-term pregnant after the sex they had the previous day?" Mike asked, confused. "What?"

_"Oh my god" thought Sonic to himself without saying it with voice. "She is pregnancy fat." This means she will have a baby._

"And now this fanfic is reminding me of that scene in 'LIFE'S LITTLE JOY' where Victor told everyone what being pregnant meant," Crow said. "Maybe the author isn't so different from agentmatt after all."

_Amy was smiling for real to Rouge. "That's so nice! I hope you have a great baby." said Amy._

Crow and Servo couldn't help but try to repress their chuckles at the dialogue.

_Sonic tried to be a good boy friend and said "Hope your baby is cool." And smiled. Espio looked more worried than everybody else._

"Well, I mean... he did get Rouge pregnant already," Servo said. "Why wouldn't he be worried?"

_"So I am gonna be your baby's dad?" said Espio, worried and excited, both._

"Uh, yeah?" Crow answered in a snippy tone. "Does she have to beat it into your head a few times for you to get it?"

_"Better believe it, fag boy," said a voice that sounded just like Shadow's._

"Man, there's a lot of casual homophobia being thrown around in this fanfic," Servo couldn't help but mutter.

"Alright, now that that chapter's over, what's next?" Crow asked Mike.

"Onto Chapter 8," Mike replied. "Seven chapters down, eighteen more to go."


End file.
